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Spain was brilliant. Canada was very good.

With young stars such as Spain’s brilliant duo of Lamine Yamal and Nico Williams and Canada’s Ismaël Koné and Alphonso Davies, the game on the pitch is in good hands.

But in the hands of FIFA, UEFA and CONMEBOL (an organization as unwieldy as its acronym) it’s a mess. From the first nil-nil match to the VAR reviews to the chaos before the Copa America final between Colombia and Argentina, a month of international soccer led to two conclusions:

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The game has never been better.

And the game has never been worse.

It doesn’t seem possible but it has been 30 years since I covered the 1994 World Cup in the U.S., culminating in a final between Italy and Brazil at the Rose Bowl in Los Angeles that was decided on (wait for it) penalty kicks.

The day after the final, I attended a post-mortem press conference held by Dr. Henry Kissinger, among other luminaries. They touched on most of the ills that still bedevil soccer today, especially the offside rule (Kissinger wanted to see it loosened up considerably) and the diving that had so marred the competition.

In the 30 years since, the only thing that has changed is the introduction of VAR, which has made it all worse. Most of the Euro was unwatchable, with most of the big powers (France, Portugal, England, Germany, Italy) electing to play strangulation soccer, putting a boatload of talent onto the pitch to bring forth the ever-popular 0-0 result. If not for the excitement Spain brought into play with its attacking style and just-turned-17 star Yamal, you could have ditched the entire competition.

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The Copa America was better, especially the attacking performance of Canada’s young stars under newly minted coach Jesse Marsch. The competition in the Americas also does away with the deadening 30-minute overtime and goes directly to penalties.

But the diving and embellishment at the venues in the U.S. was even worse than in Europe, led by Argentina’s diver-in-chief Rodrigo De Paul (a.k.a. Rodrigo De Fall) who flings himself to the pitch every time an opponent breathes on him. De Fall is like the most babyish 4-year-old in the sandbox. His reaction after Koné tapped a ball into his back was priceless, reminiscent of the time in Russia when it appeared that Neymar Jr. was going to roll all the way to Rio.

The ref bought it, Koné was handed a yellow card and De Fall went on tumbling. Nor was he alone. Even English captain Harry Kane wasn’t above milking a collision with the agony routine until he coaxed a penalty out of the ref and VAR, after which, predictably, he jumped to his feet and buried the shot.

It won’t change. We’ll go on watching for the moments of magic produced by Williams and Yamal and Koné, Big Soccer will go on counting the dollars and Euros and pounds and, come the 2026 World Cup, we’ll be counting our lucky stars because Valérie Plante and Montreal had the eminent good sense to opt out of this farce.

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Now about that CFL schedule: Our resident statistician Tim Mell was fortunate (if that’s the word) to be on the McGill métro platform during a 45-minute power outage following the Alouettes’ come-from-behind win over Calgary on July 6. When a train approached the platform, the waiting throng took up the chant: “Olé! Olé! Olé” and the startled driver cruised into the station to her first standing ovation.

Only in Montreal, eh?

In the wake of the Alouettes’ brutal loss to the Argos on five days’ rest last Thursday, Mell pointed out that there was more to it than the short week, which all CFL teams have to endure. Through Week 4, the Argos had not played a road game, while the Als played in Winnipeg and Edmonton to start the season and then in Toronto in Week 4.

“The CFL has a short pre-season training camp,” Mell said, “and giving the Argos a full month at the start of the season to schedule practices without the constraint of travel is a massive advantage.”

Meanwhile, the numbers nuts are beating baseball to death with fungo bats: This appeared in a Sportsnet story after the Jays’ Kevin Kiermaier was put on waivers: “He stole a base hit from Matt Chapman with a diving grab on a ball that had a 35 per cent catch probability.”

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If the analytics mob had been around the day in 1954 when Willie Mays made The Catch off the bat of Vic Wertz, they would have reduced it to 27 per cent probability — and we’d have forgotten it by 1955.

Heroes: Carlos Alcaraz, Jesse Marsch, Jonathan David, Jacob Shaffelburg, Lamine Yamal, Nico Williams, Ralf Schumacher, Jasmine Paolini, Barbora Krejcikova, Gaby Dabrowski, Erin Routliffe, Ruan, Cole Spieker, Titus Wall, Tyrice Beverette, Darnell Sankey, Tadej Pogačar &&&& last but not least, Ismaël Koné.

Zeros: Rodrigo De Paul, Harry Kane, Cristiano Ronaldo, FIFA, UEFA, CONMEBOL, VAR, Novak Djokovic, Bo Bichette, Mark Shapiro, Ross Atkins, the Blue Jays, Chad Kelly, CFL scheduling, Chris Jones, Bill Manning, Bud Selig Jr., Claude Brochu, David Samson &&&& last but not least, Jeffrey Loria.

Now and forever.

[email protected]

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