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So. An Echo by any other name would be — the Victoire?

After playing its inaugural season with only the names of their cities, the PWHL has finally announced permanent monikers for what the league calls “the Inaugural Six.” The nicknames are the Boston Fleet, the Minnesota Frost, the Victoire de Montréal, the New York Sirens, the Ottawa Charge and the Toronto Sceptres.

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The names replace those originally registered with the U.S. Trademark Database: the Boston Wicked, Minnesota Superior, Montreal Echo, New York Sound, Ottawa Alert and Toronto Torch. With the exception of the Boston Wicked (which was cheeky and, well, wicked) those monikers sounded as though they were generated by ChatGPT.

The Victoire logo is stylish and elegant, perfect for Montreal but the nickname itself is unimaginative, like calling them “Winners.” Mercifully, that one was taken. Victoire is fine in French, however, and easy to comprehend in English, although you know that some broadcasters will pronounce it as “Vick Toyer” or (worse) “Vick Tories.” There’s also the inevitable temptation to mock it if the Victoire go on a losing streak.

For the most part, the official team names announced Monday are bland but acceptable. New York Sirens is the best of the lot. Having lived in Manhattan for five years, I can attest that “Sirens” is perfect.

The worst? The Ottawa Charge. It summons unfortunate associations with our federal government and taxes and the Ottawa logo so resembles that of the Calgary Flames that we wouldn’t be surprised if a lawyer’s letter is already on its way.

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Whatever, the league is not going to rise or fall on nicknames and logos. After a debut season that exceeded the wildest expectations, the PWHL has something to build on — but we really wish that Boston had stuck with the Wicked.

Stand back, Alouettes: The Alouettes’ wins tend to be as ugly as a Tesla truck. Friday night, they ran into a truck in the form of William Stanback, once their finest running back since Mike Pringle.

Stanback left the Als when he signed a one-year deal with the B.C. Lions.

Stanback said he felt disrespected and unappreciated in Montreal, where GM Danny Maciocia had to keep the salary cap in mind. The result was that Stanback came to town with a score to settle and ran for 128 yards including a 38-yard run when he looked like a runaway Mack truck.

Chances are it won’t work out that way, but assuming B.C. quarterback Nathan Rourke shakes the rust and plays as he can, the Lions vs. Montreal would make for a brilliant Grey Cup.

The line on Laine: Montreal is going to love Patrik Laine. A guy who shows up for his first on-ice session as a Hab wearing Moo-Moo pants and shoes in Wizard of Oz green is just the right amount of fun for Montreal.

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We’re left to wonder where Laine caught his passion for fashion. Surely not Winnipeg, where the height of chic is a parka with sweatpants and mukluks.

Lies, rumours &&&& vicious innuendo: If Chad Kelly can play after a nine-game suspension for abusing a female strength coach, then Shawn Lemon should play after sitting out an equal number of games for betting an insignificant amount on football back in 2021. My sidekick Zeke Herbowsky already said it all. What needs to happen now is that Randy Ambrosie needs to let the guy play. …

So the NFL season begins with the Chiefs still chieftain, greed forcing the Eagles and Packers to play on a slick field in Brazil and Deshaun Watson remaining a stain on the league and the Cleveland franchise. Business as usual, in other words. …

The Denver Nuggets just signed Canadian guard Jamal Murray to a four-year, $208-million extension. Apparently the Nuggets didn’t watch the Olympics. …

The first half of the Colorado-Nebraska game Saturday night was a blast. The second half was like a video titled “Worst CFL Calls of the Past 50 Years!” …

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Broadcasters riding the hype train insist on calling Deion Sanders “Coach Prime.” After seeing the way Sanders came unglued under stress during a pitiful first half in Lincoln, we would suggest that “Coach Fraud” would be more accurate. …

Speaking of NCAA football, there are now 18 teams in the Big Ten and 16 in the Big 12. And you wonder why college students can’t do basic math. …

Not a shocker that Tom Brady stinks in the broadcast booth. The guy was always as bland as cottage cheese, with a voice that the Guardian on Monday described as a “weedy honk.” But for a mere US$375 million, Fox Sports is getting such zingers as: “In order to move forward they need to stop from going backward.”

Heroes: Scott Russell, Nicholas Bennett, Brianna Hennessy, William Stanback, Aryna Sabalenka, Jannik Sinner, Matt Rhule, Dylan Raiola, the Montreal Victoire &&&& last but not least, Patrik Laine’s pants.

Zeros: Chad Kelly, Randy Ambrosie, Deion “Coach Fraud” Sanders, Deshaun Watson, Tom Brady, Fox Sports, Jalen Carter, Bev Priestman, John Herdman, Bud Selig Jr., Claude Brochu, David Samson &&&& last but not least, Jeffrey Loria.

Now and forever.

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