Explainer: A guide to gender terminology

For folks uncomfortable with the terminology that comes with an inclusive society, here are some common phrases and acronyms to learn.

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A gender identity is the way a person defines themselves. If that seems overly simplistic, it’s because it is simple. We cannot know how a person feels unless they tell us. When they tell us, we must treat them with kindness and respect.

That could include using the correct pronouns or using a name we might not be familiar with, which is not as difficult as it may sound. Many of us have adjusted when a friend switches to a married name or tells us they prefer Michael to Mike.

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For folks who might not be comfortable with the terminology that comes with a more inclusive society, here is a breakdown of some common phrases and acronyms to learn. English is a living language, so this list might change over time. Understand that sex refers to body parts. It is a biological and medical term. Gender is defined by the person based on how they view themselves.

AFAB/AMAB, Assigned Female/Male at Birth: This means a person’s gender was assumed medically because they were born with such sex organs as a vagina or a penis. Some parents use this term for younger children who have not yet expressed their gender.

Cisgender, commonly “cis”: This means a person identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth, a decision based on what genitals they are born with. The term is preferred to “natural” or “real,” but is rejected by some people who say the words girl/boy, woman/man and female/male are enough.

Nonbinary: The binary assumes two choices, but people who don’t fit into those categories are nonbinary. They will often ask to be referred to using “they/them” pronouns.

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Gender fluid/gender expansive/gender queer: A person who is gender fluid does not identify solely as a man or woman. At various times, they might more heavily identify with one or the other. They might ask to be referred to using “they” pronouns. Gender expansive and gender queer people often experience some form of intersectionality — for instance, they might be gender fluid and also gay.

Intersex: This is a term that defines people who were “born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t fit the boxes of female or male … such as a person with both ovarian and testicular tissues,” according to Planned Parenthood. Often, a doctor or family will assign a sex to an intersex baby at birth and might pursue such medical interventions as surgery or hormone treatments. It is not a birth defect. Many intersex people believe no medical interventions should take place until the person is old enough to decide whether they want them.

Pronouns: This is how a person identifies in a deeply personal way, so it’s not OK to say “preferred” pronouns. It’s just their pronoun. If you’re not sure, ask them, default to “they” or introduce yourself using your own so they understand you’re ready to respect their pronoun: “Hi, I’m Hayley, you can use she/her.” There is no debate about whether “they” is valid use of the language, as it’s been used since biblical times.

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Sexual orientation: A sexual orientation like being gay, bi or asexual is not the same as a gender identity. A video published by Amaze.org has a simple explanation: “Gender identity has to do with the way you feel about yourself. Sexual orientation is based on the way you feel toward others.”

Transgender, trans: This is the opposite of cisgender. It is when a person who is AFAB/AMAB does not identify with the gender they were assigned. A person does not have to choose medical interventions to be transgender. “To treat a transgender person with respect, you treat them according to their gender identity, not their sex at birth,” explains the National Center for Transgender Equality. The act of using a trans person’s old name, though we might feel more familiar with it, is called deadnaming.

Two-spirit, 2S: This is an Indigenous term that refers to people who recognize the female and male aspects of themselves. The Indigenous Foundation explains that “two-spirit folks were seen as gifted and honoured in their community because they carried two spirits with them. … 2S folks were often the healers, medicine people, and visionaries within their given community and they were foundational members of their culture.”

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